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Unkwuhuig

Section 18 Sunset Avenue TMOV 10 May 2024 Dear Unkwuhuig, I hold hope that this letter finds you well. It's been a while since we spoke and I thought since that's the case, it would be necessary to reach out to you in this fashion. We didn't leave on the greatest terms the last time we spoke, I just hope that you understood the angle that I was taking. Nevertheless, how are things with you? I hope everything has been fair to you, as they say, you reap what you sow, only you will be able to judge what is fair for you.  But the purpose of this letter is to remind you of how unfair you've been to me. I don't want us to be on bad terms again, but I have to express my honesty. You have been the birth giver of fear in my life, you have spoken confusion onto me, making me doubt every choice I make. Everything I leave behind is questioned by you with the undertone of loss. I know you meant no harm, I know you mean no harm, but I have to express my honesty. I have encountere

TMG

*To be posted on 25/04/2024 Sunday. December. Summer time. We outside. I have been preparing this summer body for a month or two, you best believe I am not going hide a single second of this hardworking, handsome looking man called Benjamin. I am truly him. I can't lie though, I'm actually quite nervous. I am performing later on tonight, playing the piano for my brother. Look man, I know that I ain't no Bruce Hornsby on the keys, I am not trying to be, I just want to get through the night without any errors. Lord knows how embarrassing it will be if I mess up my brother's whole performance. Infront of all these fiiiiiine women? Please God, no. Eitherway, there is no turning back, I am here no, just gotta hope for the best. Regardless, without that in mind, I am genuinely having a great time. I'm seeing a lot of people I used to know, and they are seeing me. I'm like day and night compared to my former self, now I got that swagger to me. Maybe I should stunt on t

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"- Even though you share the same blood is it worth the time? Like who got your best interest? Like how much are you dependent? How clutch are the people that say they love you? And who pretending? How tough is your skin when they turn you in? Do you show forgiveness? What brush do you bend when dusting your shoulders from being offended? What kind of den did they put you in when the lions start hissing? What kind of bridge did they burn? Revenge or your mind when it's mentioned?" Yes (No) No (Yes) N/A

Fear.

So, how are you feeling today, are you good? Good? What does being good mean to you? Well, I'd say to be in a state that is not consumed by the desire of acquiring immediate needs. Well in that case, then I'm good, thanks for asking. What would being good mean to you? If sunsets and pianos did not exist, I'd answer you by saying I don't know. In this case, goodness seems to favor me on most days. What is the point of all this anyway? Well, it is healthy to unpack, have someone to talk to, let loose on most stresses that consume our minds.  I hate losing. Loss is devastating. It spews the expression of deep rage, straight out the core of heart. I can't take it. This hatred bullies my soul, sparking the feeling of everlasting resentment. This hatred overcame my spirit, forcing me into a dark room without a point of entry and exit. It left me hungry, eating whatever my eyes could find, I took bites only to realize that it was pieces of me being detached. This hatred le

A Poem by Benjamin Raphael (Part 3)

You were born to disappoint me. Your birth was a conspiracy to attack my soul. Your existence is a plague to my heart, the murderer of my nature, the proof of the devil's successes. What hurts me the most is that you did not even try, you did not put in the effort. Your fate was written in the stars, a stamp of damnation. You are a disgrace of a human, I can not stand the venom that disguises itself as words that leave your mouth, leaving a trail of despair. A fallen angel would appear more graceful, but you were an angel that was born on the ground. You are weak, so weak that you will never get up. Never, ever... I should have recognized your flaws from the moment I set these eyes on you... The mind was wondering what the eyes were telling him, the mind then shifted to question if it was imagining. It was a blessing to both of them. The mind gave birth to hope again... (sigh)  Here we go again... Insanity.

Insanity, Insanity

Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over again expecting it to change. That is crazy. I watched him as he found the faith to stand up again after his fall. I cheered him on. To my disappointment, I watched him fall again. As I started losing the hope that was alongside me, he miraculously stood up once more. My delight was greater than it was the first time. Short lived. I saw him tumble back down. I accepted that it was over when he ignited something in me that I've never experienced before. A confused sense of excitement fell over me as I witnessed his resilience push him up once more. He stood. He then fell again. I could see him finding his ever present stubbornness once again trying to defeat his consistent fate. What is actually going on? Are you even meant to be standing? There's another form of insanity. Insanity is watching someone do the exact same thing over and over again expecting it to change. Tha

A Poem by Benjamin Raphael (Part 2)

25 Yes. Your presence rests in this heart of mine. Sometimes it feels as if you are doing the heart too much of a favor. The warm embrace filled with love and grace, the heart sinks when the eyes blesses him with a picture of your face. Fears dissolved, logic lost, this heart craves you. A war erupts between the mind but then the heart saves you. It stays true to the words that the mouth forbids to utter. To find a blessing with this impact? Will never locate another. But when I... I thank God for blessing me with the opportunity to lay these eyes on you. The first time it happened the eyes couldn't believe it, certainly a dream come true. The eyes knew that it was witnessing something special, the stare followed. The world around and all the sounds were immediately swallowed. But when I... I need to get back to reality, that's what this mind says to me. Yes she is all that, but never lose respect for me. I was there when that same heart turned sour on you. Me. You looked aroun